The Secret Viking wants a word with you

“Even though the man forgets how old he is, his age does not forget him.”
.    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .    .       – Ancient Norse saying

SecretViking-coverLARGEfinal_2How often do you read a blurb written by a Viking?

I’m Thorsten the Rood, The Secret Viking of the book I’m trying to flog. Back in Viking times, I was a kick-ass warrior poet. Now, many costume changes later, I’m a quiet, unassuming novelist. Though you’d never know it, I’m 1300 years old.

You’re not buying this, are you? How can I be 1300 years old? Well, I was hit on the head at age 44, and for reasons medical, magical or just plain inexplicable, my aging mechanism turned off. I stayed 44.

But I’m mortal and subject to risk. I knew that if my secret became public, my extended life would be threatened. So, for 1256 years, to conceal my non-aging from the superstitious, intolerant and vicious idiots out there, I’ve had to keep running and hiding behind new identities, mostly literary. For over twelve centuries, I’ve been writing and running. It hasn’t been a cakewalk.

Like my life, my book is a tapestry. Or maybe it’s a travesty. I get really pissed off with all this endlessness. But never mind.

Why am I going public now? Because the literary scholar who stumbled on my secret swore that my current identity would not be revealed, and convinced me that I owed it to the world to share my story. Merde! I fell for it. Big mistake.

And now, I’m stuck. So to protect my present identity, I wrote The Secret Viking as a comic novel under the name of a not-widely-known Canadian novelist. How did I get conned into this?

Find out more, here. I’m out of here.

Oh, wait. facebook, you ask?
Of course! Someone talked me into it.
Please visit and Like for occasional pithy, writerly comments from me, The Secret Viking.
(Bloody hell, whose idea was this?)

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© Martin Myers and, 2012 – 2019.
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